A friend of mine passed away recently and I've been wondering how to let her family know that I'd be happy to help with giving away or at least organizing her clothes for easier storage or passing along to other family members, when they are ready to let them go. This post from Flylady's website made me realize that giving away treasured personal items is a good thing, yet we never know when the time is right until we're "led" to do it. I think I'll tell my friend's family that I'm here to help, and wait for them to be "led" to choose the right time. I'll also tell myself that if they don't ever mention it to me, that's "being led," too.
Today's Moment - No More Waiting for Someday
flylady, 12/18/2010 11:00 pm
Dear FlyLady,
I recently started a "book of moments." When something positive happens that really touches me, I take 5-10 mins and write about it. Then I put my "moments" into a binder. I realized when my Mom passed away that I wish I knew more about which moments meant something to her, etc... My 10 year old DS enjoys reading mine and has even started his own book of moments. This is my moment from today.
This morning I went through the last of my Mom's clothes. There were some scarves. You know, the silky, beautiful scarves that some people wear around their neck and tie into a knot. I'm not one of those people that are comfortable wearing that look. There were only four scarves left that I hadn't already given away. The only reason I hadn't was because they were the four most beautiful scarves. I felt that "maybe someday" I would wear them someday when I'm older and in a different place in my life, when I have a reason to dress more sophisticated than I currently do, in my casual business attire that I'm so comfortable wearing. Every time I look at the scarves, I get a twinge of guilt that I am not wearing them. My mother would want them to be worn.
This morning, I decided that if the "someday" that I begin wearing scarves is not NOW, I should pass them along to someone who WILL wear them. I bagged them up and brought them to work for a co-worker who wears scarves and looks terrific in them. Her husband recently passed away and there aren't enough people in her life who do nice things for her, although she is unfaltering kind to everyone. There was one scarf that had pink and purple in it that I had a feeling she may like. She opened the bag and gasped, gushing over how beautiful the scarves were. Then the pink and purple one caught her eye. She immediately lifted it, put it on and said, "Oh! This is my new favorite scarf! I'm going to wear it today!" There was such happiness on her face as she thanked me for them.
This brought me so much joy, knowing that instead of sitting in a box, collecting dust, waiting for "someday" to come along, my mother's scarves have a new owner who will love and wear them.
Thank you, FlyLady for teaching me so much that I am able to teach my son. He gets a kick out of the fact that we are BOTH learning how to do housework, declutter, and build routines - 15 minutes at a time! You've helped me understand that material items are NOT what hold memories of loved ones.
Blessing others truly does bring pleasure and is so simple to do even on a very tight budget. Tonight my DS and I are bringing 5 spare blankets & comforters to the local homeless shelter. We are so excited to be able to help others and lighten our load as well!
I am so grateful for you and your unconditional love for Flybabies like us!
Melanie in Shokan, NY
